Living truthfully

Last week on the Eden Ideal podcast, we finished a three part series on truthfulness and the team had the opportunity to challenge ourselves to a week of living truthfully by taking part in the truthfulness challenge. Sounds easy enough right? I thought it would be too, and to be honest, it was at first but half way through the week, I started to... forget. I know forgetting to tell the truth sounds crazy, but lies, especially the little white lies we tell sometimes, have become so ingrained in a lot of us that they don’t even seem like lies any more.

Lie verb (SPEAK FALSELY)

present participle lying | past tense lied | past participle lied

to say or write something that is not true in order to deceive someone.

However, no matter what we think a lie is, the dictionary meaning is right there and I noticed I was saying things that weren’t true to deceive my son because it was the easier way of solving conflicts or stopping him from making a fuss. For example, one morning he woke up crying and said he didn’t want me to go to work that day, so I told him to go back to sleep and I wouldn’t go to work. After he fell asleep, what did I do? I got dressed and went to work.

The reason I did this was because I didn’t want to have to begin explaining why mummy has to go to work only for him to end up in more tears resulting in me also being late to work. At first when I realised I had lied, it was funny to me but then all day at work, I honestly felt so bad because I began to imagine how he felt when he woke up and didn’t see me there. I also began to think, how can I raise my son to be an honest man when I'm lying to him?

I believe the reason many of us tell lies is to avoid conflict, to avoid getting in ‘trouble’ and to avoid uncomfortable conversations. But the bible says, “and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32) To avoid feeling guilt and anxiety all day at work, I could’ve just dealt with the consequences and been at peace. I know many of you reading this are probably thinking ‘but it was such a small lie,’ and it may seem that way but the reason I remembered this ‘small lie’ this week is because it had an affect on me, even though my son probably didn't remember what I said, I remembered all day, and rushed to get home after work just to be with him, because I felt convicted.

As humans I know it is easier for us to feel more guilt towards our loved ones and the people close to us when we tell lies, but what I learnt this week is that we have to put ourselves in the shoes of the person on the receiving end no matter how close they are to us. Although I’ve been more aware of how I respond to people in the past week at work, at home and in my friendship circle, I’m going to be more conscious of being truthful in general no matter what the consequences may be, because we can tell the truth in love, and are probably more likely to gain respect from and teach something to the person on the receiving end. Being truthful is also how we build trust with others, when we think about living truthfully in this way, I think it makes living intentionally a lot easier.

If you’re reading this, I challenge you today to be more conscious of being intentionally truthful, take part in this challenge and don’t tell a lie for the entire week, even the small lies, then challenge yourself to make it a part of your daily life.